Fear Based to Love Based – Healing by Embracing Truth

I am striving to move from a fear based to love based person. Like 75% of the population, I was raised in a fear based atmosphere and like many, l deeply desire to regain the innate nature of love we were all born with.

Self-Love

To move from a fear based to love based person, lots of love, especially self-love needs to be developed. You can’t give what you don’t have so it is essential to learn to love yourself before you can give love to others.

If you feel fearful, embrace light and loved filled thoughts…

-which generates love based emotions….

-which generates light

which leaves less room for the darkness of fear.

Love based emotions

Love based emotions such as peace, joy, happiness, honor, courage, gentleness, etc. generate positive loving light.

But fear based emotions are negative emotions that cause toxicity such as anger, worry, anxiety, sadness, grief, guilt, and shame.

Fear based environment

When raised in a fear based environment, it is difficult to recognize toxicity because it is all you have ever known, but with practice, the skill to recognize toxicity, especially manipulative tactics generally using guilt and shame to achieve desired purposes, can be developed.

What is manipulation?

What is manipulation? The best way to define manipulation is with some examples.

1. Someone who makes you feel guilty – Example: You aren’t fulfilling your parental obligation if you don’t give your kids ski lessons.
2. Comparison- Example: Janet did this; I think you need to follow in her footsteps.
3. Exaggerating or embellishing the facts to get what is desired.
4. Threaten- Example: If you don’t go to church, you can’t go to the ball game and out to eat.
5. Judges or criticizes with the intention to gain control or power.
6. Embarrasses you in public because they know you are scared to stand up for yourself in a public environment.
7. Discredit or diminish your problems striving to make you feel less confident.

People who are manipulators look for fearful, unconfident people they can control to achieve their purposes.

Separating ourselves from toxic relationships

As I work to move from fear based to love based, I have had to learn to distance myself from toxic manipulators. This means it is necessary to replace negative friends with positive, loving friends. This has resulted in having less friends, but interestingly, self-love for myself has increased.

I have also recognized my motivation to please people is a fear based trait. Love based individuals are motivated by what is best and most healthy rather than pleasing others.

Family challenges

Since we don’t generally “make new” families like we make new friends, dealing with negative, fear based family members is often challenging. It is tricky dealing with family members who pigeonhole you as person X (fear based) when you have become person Y (on a pathway to love based).

To be honest, I don’t think there is a pat solution to deal with fear-driven family members when changing from fear based to love based, other than praying for guidance and patiently taking one day at a time.

Love and truth both generate healing light

While I am learning to regain the ability to love, I lost as a child, I have been and continue to search for truth. I recently identified when I embrace truth, I feel the same warmth as when I feel love. I realized the reason for this is because love and truth are both emotions that generate light which heals.

Finding truth is also a journey to become love based

Because truth generates light as love does, the journey to find and embrace truth is also a journey enabling me to overcome the fear based negative environment of doom and gloom, manipulation, and guilt-driven motivations I was raised in. If you would like more details about this topic, see my blog, “Healing by Embracing Truth”.

Conclusion – Fear based to Love based

For a long time, I didn’t know how to overcome my fear based negative thinking. I had no idea when I was blessed with a deep urge to search for truth I was beginning an effective pathway to finding and embracing truth

…..which create love based thoughts

…..which create love based emotions

…..which create the light that heals

…..which changes fear based to love based!

Afterward – Great 12 minute guided meditation to release fear and calm the mind by Paul Babin

I really enjoy this meditation. The excellent choice of words is calming enabling relaxation or sleep to occur.

Top Featured Photo by Boris Smokrovic

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