I look back on my life and the gap between what I thought life was going to be and what life has become is a canyon instead of a ditch. My main life focus has been to be a good mother to my six children. Although I have put much effort into mothering, I still feel lacking. I am seeking to overcome these feelings of inadequacy. To begin I will share just a bit about me.
Purpose
My purpose in starting this blog is to authentically share what I believe to be
Three Children Leave Our Religion
I am sharing a bit of religious background information to help my readers understand, in the past, I have devoted a lot of time to religion and to mothering my children which has greatly influenced the perspectives I share on this blog. However, the content of this blog is not religious, but I do consider quite a few of my blog posts and myself to be spiritual in nature.
Seven years ago, three of our children left our lifetime religion of Mormonism. I had heard of one and occasionally two, but never three leaving from one family at once. Our family attended church every week, we read the scriptures and prayed together on a daily basis, but yet our family was now divided. Unexpectedly and suddenly, three of our six children left Mormonism.
Click Here if you desire to read more details about our children who left Mormonism
A Broken Heart and Emotional Instability
I was constantly upset about half our children leaving Mormonism, and I could sense I was suffering from a broken heart and emotional instability. My physical health also declined, and I knew I needed to heal but I didn’t know how even though I had been religious my whole life.
Healing by Internalizing Truth
I didn’t know how to get over my sorrow and disappointment so I fervently prayed for guidance. I had no idea that my prayer was being answered when I developed a deep inner urge to diligently search for truth. Today, 3/17/2019, I realized I have been healing as I internalize truth. Truth is light and light is the component that heals. I have been seeking truth for several years without recognizing truth is light that heals. I am glad to understand my journey to find truth is also my journey to heal. For more details see my blog post, “Healing by Embracing Truth”.
Modern Mormon teachings
As a devout believer in Mormonism, I never thought I would leave the religion I loved like three of my children did, but after studying and searching about my religion for six years, I discovered numerous authentic documents from the early history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints aka Mormons were very different than the current teachings of the Mormon church. Even after learning about the deceit that has occurred over the years in the Mormon church, I attributed it to the weakness of men. However, after sincerely praying about my lifetime religion, to my surprise, my husband and I were prompted by the Holy Ghost (also often called the Holy Spirit) to leave the Mormon church.
Non-denominational Christian Beliefs
Some have asked what I believe after leaving Mormonism. My non-denominational Christian beliefs are eloquently explained at the following link:
My son dealing with Bipolar II disorder – Focusing on Mental Wellness
My current main focus is mental wellness from a mother’s point of view. My son, Darrell, (name has been changed to protect his privacy) is dealing with Bipolar II disorder so I am continually searching, studying, and praying to learn all I can about mental health to help my son in every way possible with the ultimate goal for him to completely heal. On the journey to meet this goal, I am striving to apply every potential healing method that may lead to his full recovery which includes seeing a medical psychiatrist and therapist, although my preference is natural healing methods.
Values
An important quality about me is that I do not leave the value system I developed while participating in the Mormon religion: to pray and read the scriptures, to be faithful to my husband, to help the poor, and serve others.
Although I am no longer a member of any church or affiliated with any religion, I cherish the scriptures that enable me to hear and understand God’s messages to me. The beautiful thing about the scriptures is that they speak differently to me each time I study them according to what I am experiencing in my life. I treasure the scriptures and view them as a precious gift from God. Although it may seem incongruent to continue to believe in the scriptures, I explain how this is possible in my blog post titled, “The Book of Mormon and Bible – Truth without a Church”.
Do Not Believe Me or Any Man
Although I speak what I believe to be the truth, I ask my readers to pray to God about the ideas and information I share to find out directly from God if they are true. Please do not believe me or any man. Always turn to God for His confirmation of truth. The last thing I want to share about me is I no longer depend on a man, I depend on God to receive confirmations of truth. I would like to state clearly that I believe finding truth is a process so as I continue to study and search for truth I believe is scattered everywhere, what I believe today may change as I study and receive further knowledge. Therefore, I maintain the right to retract any incorrect statements and the opportunity to explain my new belief. I hope my readers would feel free to do the same.
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